In the blues...

Yes,I'm in the blues right now....since yesterday I think,maybe it is because I'm having my mense now,so whatever I do,I fell something wrong or missing.I also have mixfeeling with my male collegue,whether to angry or not to angry with him,at the sametime feel regrets If my action yesterday hurts him...Well I don't know.But one thing for sure,since he came to my office,he seems try to conquere/control this tiny office decision/situation.Grrrr....

On a serious note,I actually realised that I'm having a problem with myself,attitude problem that no one can help.I am dare to admit,as I know that nobody is perfect,but I want to be looked perfect and good,sound strange?normal?

To the people who knows me personally out there,can you just telling me,What are my bad attitute?I Realised some,but I'm honoured if people sincere to tell me,but not to condem me nor to find my mistakes,what else blaming me.....I just want a pure comment,so that I will know what I've done all this while was wrong,and I want to change for better one....

Ok let me confess my weaknes:(I know its bad but I'm not hypocrite rite)
1)I tend to get angry easily to people who provoke me,irritating,people that always thinking they are right,selfish,cannot tolerate,boarsting type of people,manupulate people etc....

2)In hurry - I hates late!!!everything I do,I do it quickly,I want it to settle fast.As a result Of Course I always did a mistake somewhere.The amazing part was I also married fast!!!luckily there's not much problem in my marriage.I walk fast,type fast,eat fast,u name it...everything I do it fast.

3)I always want to be a Top among my peers -This is my very embarrased confession.But I admit,that is me since my primary school days.I kinda like a centre of attraction.If I participate in any contest,I always wanted to be no 1,otherwise I will fell really depress...hahahaha.If I see people have anything better than me,I'll treat that as a spirit for me to work harder,to realised my dreams....And as the time goes by,I think u should understand what kind of 'TOP" I'm refering too...yucks!!!sucks!!(ok-ok..I want to change rite?)

4)I am bossy - Yes,I am..be it in the office or among siblings,And I think people irritated me for this.But I'm doing this for good reoson Off Course,(I think..hehehe)I also always think that I am right.But later on after I did a deep thinking,only I discover that I'm wrong, I seldom ask apologize directly,instead I buy them a present/treat them with good food, or talk nicely to them on other different topic.

5)Easy to forgive hard to forget - but no one can see it in my eyes,as I'm a good pretender,but deep inside I will never forget what people make me feels at those moment.I try to forget,but with a strong visual memories I am,its almost imposible for me to forget,what people have done to me,but Off Course I never rebell,instead I am satisfied If I can show them my certain succesful in various way.And I try to avoid /see people who irritate me...

6)Tend to talk rubbish when angry-later regret...What a klise!!hahahaha

and actually has a lots more ...which I forget right now....hahaha

But I also recognised the good spirit in me:-


1)loving and friendly-I try to cherish people feelings,not to embarrased them,be with them,feel whatever they feel,and make them comfort with me,that's my winning point I know.....but the bad thing is when those people start clingy on me,I ran away......hahahaha...because I don't want a full commitment...as actually I Treat everyone same !!kesian,aku buat org perasan...but that's me...

2)punctual-well as a rushing person,Of Course I am very punctual...ahaks!!

3)and I am always smile.People seldom see me in sour face(althogh when I am angry!!)huhuhu

the rest,I think let other people judge me,not myself ,It will be unfair....hehhehe